The FIRST Christmas, 2009

Just when I thought that I was starting to get a grip on my emotions, Christmas came and opened up a whole new door. It was SOOO hard to get through the holidays this year. And not just the regular, normal holidays, but the FIRST Christmas without my mom. This year, I realized, that things will NEVER be the same! :(

Going home...

This past week I visited my sister in GJ and of course we stayed at my moms house. It was soo crazy, I just kept waiting for her to walk in that door! I wish she would have :(

With everything I do, I think of you...

I miss you so much everyday. I don't know why it STILL doesn't seem like this is it. I wait for your phone calls and to hear your voice. You were such a vibrant person so it seems unbelievable that you aren't going to call ever again! :(

Today is ............

SOOOOOOOO hard :(

Why???

Why is it that some days are easy and seem to normal. And then others I could just break down and cry at my desk. Sometimes it makes me feel so selfish being sad. I just think that I should be happy because you are in a much better, happier place where you should be. I just miss being able to call you for any random reason. Or just show up to hang out and you would drop anything you were doing to spend time with me.
:(

Pictures...

I added these pictures on here yesterday of you. It just reminds me just how loving and happy you were. Such a free spirit, never caring what others thought, always following your faith, and treating others like gold. You were such a special person who is missed in this world. We love you so much and will continue living forever with you in our hearts.

So almost 6 months and I feel like time is moving too fast. We have your house on the market and I am not ready to let it go. I don't think I could handle having the one thing that is left of you leaving this family. I just want to keep it forever. It smells like you and everything in it is you!!!

26 years......

And I have never had a birthday without you. I know that you are in my heart and are really here with me...I love you mom!!!!
Thanks for decorating my bedroom door EVERY YEAR and always making my birthday so special! ;)

5 Months today...

.....:(

Harder and harder...

I talked to Dave two nights ago...he told me that he had just gotten done having a cry-fest thinkin about you...why is it that it just hits us SO HARD sometimes and stops us dead in our tracks?? We miss you so much...I have been thinkin about the holidays lately A LOT and I don't even want to IMAGINE what it is going to be like without you...
I am waiting for things to get easier but somehow they just keep gettin harder :(

Yesterday.....

I drove past "your" hospital and everything came flooding back...
I was reminded of where my life was spent durring february and march 2009. Now I would go back for anything just to sit by your side and talk to you again. Although with you in no pain of course. Altho, if I could do it again, I would be there everyday and night!!

Davis family reunion...

Yesterday was the Davis family reunion in Loveland. We had a good time and it was great to see everyone. I was really pondering going or not and I decided to go after aunt Sandy told me that I was being a bitch if I didn't! :) I couldn't fathum going without you being there and I just thought it would make it so much harder. Im glad I did. It reminded me that you would have gone if you were here. I missed you there and it would have been better that way, but I am glad I changed my mind. And also, Torin got to meet his great, great grandpa, so that was special!

Dillon...

I am headed to Dillon this weekend to spend time with the girls...I can't even begin to tell you how much I would love for you to be there with us, playing with Torin, chatting, painting our nails, and dancing in the living room...miss you!

I LOVE YOU...

...that's all!!!

Jewels

I have been thinkin about you all day....like always. I am wearing your wedding ring around my neck today on a gold chain. I know that it was a part of you for 23 years so I feel close to you wearing it!!

Mother/daughter dates

Wishin we could go on a date today....Starbucks and nails... Those were always good times!!

Your comments...

I want to know what everyones favorite memories of mom are. What is the ONE main thing about her that stands out to you....Please leave comments so we can all read eachothers...
Thanks!

Comforting thoughts...

So we all know that moving on with our lives without Sherry has and will continue to be very difficult. But it is selfish of us to think that we are moving on without her and leaving her behind when really, she left us and moved on to much bigger and better things. For me, the longer it is, the harder it seems to get. So therefore, Diane and I have been talking about it a lot lately. She offered some wonderful advice to me which seems to comfort. God 'rescued' mom from her pain. All the struggles, and sorrows. She wouldn't come back right now if we wanted her to. She wouldn't choose this life over where she is now for anything. She is still 'with us', in our hearts. She still watches over us, and we can talk to her and know she'll hear. So please, comfort yourselves in knowing that she is peaceful, she is happy, AND she is dancing in her purple garden!!!

Vacation

Sometimes to get through the day, I imagine that you are away on vacation,....the "BEST" vacation ever. And someday I will see you again. When I join you on vacation as well!!

XXXXXXX....OOOOOOO!!!

Purple Garden

I picture you everyday running in your purple garden. When time's get tough I think of that, and smile!

Prayers...

Please, please God, take good care of my mama until we meet again!

Love letters.....

Mom,

You have ALWAYS been around for me, through thick and thin. I know now that you are STILL always around me. I can feel your presence in my heart. I miss you so much but I know that is it only because I can not see you. You are still here. You are peaceful, you are happy and all of your struggles and troubles are gone. You are so beautiful. But reflecting back on who you really were as a person, you are so much more beautiful to me now than ever! You are "the best" mother, and role model I could have had. There is no one else more suited for the job that God gave you. I want to be remembered by Torin the way Tiff and I look up to you. You are the definition of home, of comfort, and of love. I am sending you this love letter to heaven. I hope that when you left us to go to a better place, you took all of this with you. You know how we feel, how we love you, and how you touched our lives so much. I hope even while you were still here with us you knew how grateful we were to have such a wonderful mother to leave us fully prepared to become wives and mothers, and grandmothers some day to our own. This will help me bring peace into my heart, just knowing that I told you enough how much I loved and adored you. I hope someday that I will become just like you!!

Mom's favorite quote...

"The will of God will never take me where the grace of God will not protect me!"

In memory...

My mother, and favorite person in the whole world passed away on March 26, 2009. She suffered from burns on 40% of her body. She was a beautiful, loving, godly, happy daughter, mother, grandmother, and friend. She was very young. I created this blog for her memory. The more time goes by (it's been 4 months now) the harder it is to cope with her loss. It really helps me to talk about her and remember her with others who knew and loved her. I hope that this may also help you to move foreward and celebrate in her life, and her now peacefulness. I love you mom, may you forever live on in our lives through our hearts...