One year ago today

......was the last time I spent with you!!! The main blog picture was taken the last time that I spent with my mom on January 4, 2009 :(

The FIRST Christmas, 2009

Just when I thought that I was starting to get a grip on my emotions, Christmas came and opened up a whole new door. It was SOOO hard to get through the holidays this year. And not just the regular, normal holidays, but the FIRST Christmas without my mom. This year, I realized, that things will NEVER be the same! :(

Going home...

This past week I visited my sister in GJ and of course we stayed at my moms house. It was soo crazy, I just kept waiting for her to walk in that door! I wish she would have :(

With everything I do, I think of you...

I miss you so much everyday. I don't know why it STILL doesn't seem like this is it. I wait for your phone calls and to hear your voice. You were such a vibrant person so it seems unbelievable that you aren't going to call ever again! :(

Today is ............

SOOOOOOOO hard :(

Why???

Why is it that some days are easy and seem to normal. And then others I could just break down and cry at my desk. Sometimes it makes me feel so selfish being sad. I just think that I should be happy because you are in a much better, happier place where you should be. I just miss being able to call you for any random reason. Or just show up to hang out and you would drop anything you were doing to spend time with me.
:(